- this game would not exist if I never pushed for an ADHD diagnosis and medication
- this game would not exist if my partner hadn't gotten so invested in the world before it even started and continued to seemingly enjoy it that it was a genuinely devastating event when the campaign had to wait to continue. My husband is my #1 supporter and idk what I would do without him.
- this game would not exist if I was mentally stable and abled enough to work for a company
- this game would not exist if I had decided it was too tall an order and I should make something simpler
- Vekari as a world would not exist if I didn't have a lifelong maladaptive daydreaming habit
- this game would not exist if I had not been sneaking onto the computer as a child to play Neopets, hackthissite, and other games with hidden secrets and puzzles that are quite difficult without a guide to follow
- this game would not exist without drag and drop game making websites, which is what I started on as a child
- this game would not exist without the english teachers, librarians, and comp sci teachers I got incredibly lucky with who encouraged my writing and game design even when I had negative confidence in myself
- this game would not exist if the counters on the site never went up
- this game would not exist without the players that have paid to support my work on it. I would have to focus on an artistic skill of mine that makes at least enough to cover protein powder, much less the hosting and url fees for the site every year
- this game would not exist if I listened to my parents.
- this game would not exist at all if I cared too much about number go up anywhere. Number go up is nice, but at the end of the day, my updates are for the 5-10ish people who consistently come back here every month. Even if it was only 1 I would do it, because I know how it feels to get into a world and story just for a dev or company to shut it all down. Vekari stays as long as 1 person besides me gives a shit.
- this game would not be growing into the real world the way it is if the cosplay contest judges last year had been as critical as I expected them to be. Instead they were EXCITED. They asked me to bring Ash back. I can't stop the game now.
- following up on the above, this game very likely wouldn't exist if I didn't get to talk to players myself sometimes or see peoples' reactions in person
- this game would not exist if I stayed given up on making games
- this game would not exist in its current state if I never learned basic web development out of need for income as a 15/16 year old kid
- this game would not exist in its current state if I had decided it needed to be a 2D or 3D game. It would still be in development and I would likely be losing my mind.
- this game wouldn't exist if it wasn't a homebrew D&D campaign first, and if that campaign had just gone on like normal. The site was born out of need to continue building the world and story without waiting for everyone's schedules to line up.
- this game wouldn't exist if I never heard of Silent Hill as a child. I heard Shattered Memories sort of adjusted itself based on how you played the game. Ever since, I have wanted to make a game where your decisions determine the ENTIRE outcome. But I am also aware of the scope of a project like that if I write out every path. So I don't. I write as we go, and what could have happened will always be a mystery. And it works exactly as I intended.
- this game wouldn't exist without the friends who got dragged in to this long term but rarely interact with it. You are loyal and I respect that
- this game wouldn't exist if I didn't have so much story to tell
- this game wouldn't exist if the world was kinder
- this game wouldn't exist if I didn't see games as an art form
- this game wouldn't exist if I hadn't used so many other games to help me process darker emotions, and then wanted to make my own
- this game wouldn't exist without my trauma
- this game wouldn't exist without my interest in history
- this game wouldn't exist at all if I limited myself to game engines, popular genres, and what can be sold on Steam
- this game wouldn't exist if my sole goal was to make profit from it. Support helps keep it up and is massively appreciated, but I still update when nobody pays me. I might beg for a pizza after, but I still do the update.
- this game wouldn't exist if I was able to be intimidated by the long term goals I have for it
- this game wouldn't exist if the setting wasn't what it is. A glitched city gives me so much freedom to do random nonsensical shit and easily breaks down any writer's block I could possibly have
- this game probably would have fallen apart if I did this as a team and tried to take on only one or two roles. Jumping between things makes it take longer, but it also gives my brain a rest from the previous task so it doesn't feel like ripping my teeth out when I return to it after. The change in tasks and thought processes is refreshing for me
- this game wouldn't exist if I didn't get the odd comment from people about how it looks interesting, or witness people search for answers to simple questions to win TTRPG keys. I know the interest is out there, I just have to gather you people up
- this game wouldn't exist if I used genAI. It would be awful and I would hate myself for presenting it to you as my own work so much I would delete the site.
- this game wouldn't exist if I gave up due to widespread media literacy issues. I know a lot of people will struggle with this game. With the reading, with understanding, and especially with solving puzzles and piecing lore together. That is the point. I am giving you a playground to train your brain on.
- this game wouldn't exist with the momentum it has if Game Off went poorly when I made and entered Poltersprite in it. It's true! Probably would have kept it mostly the same and just focused on updating story and quests. Game Off showed me that there are always things to improve, that players miss stuff hidden in plain sight if there isn't a visual indicator that they should push a button, and that I actually am capable of making good games that people like. It inspired me to think about how I could grow Vekari as a game, to really push it to be as crazy as it is in my brain. Now you're getting the most chaotic combat system I have ever seen later this year. It's awesome
- this game wouldn't exist if I got laughed off early on
- this game wouldn't exist if other indie devs and even professional devs, journalists, TTRPG devs, and other people in the gaming industry did not accept me with open arms on Bluesky. Genuinely did wonders for my confidence on this thing
- this game wouldn't exist if I wasn't a little bit insane
Here's to many more years of Vekari chaos and watching the site and world grow, together, around all our choices